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Kitkat_Kandy_Korner
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Name: Kathy
Location: California, United States
Interests: *martial arts *listen to music *swim *read *eat *sleep (this is my favorite activity =} )
Expertise: making situations awkward
Message: message me
AIM:  KitkatsRevo
Member Since:
8/18/2003
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| As the last couple weeks arrive, I'm starting to get very anxious and nervous. Finals are coming up and I feel as if I'm not prepared for them, yet I really wish that they would come sooner so I'd get to go home sooner. My impatience does not serve me well at this moment. These two weeks are very important. I need to focus on studying, catching up, and brushing up all the material that I've been handed this term. My impatience distracts me more than ever right now. All I can think about recently is going home. I miss my parents and friends so much. There are so many things that I never appreciated until recently. I guess making it on my own isn't as easy as I thought. I find myself longing for my mom and dad's faces, and at night, when I close my eyes, I'd imagine that I was back in my bed, and at any moment, my mom would walk into my room to tell me good night. I then would fall asleep waiting for her voice. This may sound cheesy to those of you back home, but it's truly how I feel almost every night. Being 3000 miles from home without anyone to lean on is not an easy task. Though I feel like I've managed pretty well considering all that I've been through the past few months. Now I just can't wait to start my college life fresh after Christmas break and forget about all the muddy business that shadowed my first term here at MIT.
This week will be somewhat of a stressful week. I have three problem sets due and a test at the end of this week. My math problem set is due on Thursday, then my Physics and Chemistry problem sets are both due on Friday. I also have a math test that same day. I spent most of today catching up on the math material and doing the math problem set. I haven't gotten too far because this problem set is suppose to be the longest one we'll have all term. I really need to finish this up tomorrow and get started on my other two, so I can get things done in time to study for the test.
On a lighter note, it snowed yesterday. Yup yup. I didn't even realize that it was snowing outside because I had gone to bed really early yesterday. As I woke up at 5:00 AM, I looked outside and saw that there was a fluffy blanket of snow in the courtyard. It was beautiful because the sun hadn't risen yet and all was dark, silent, and so still. I managed to take some pictures from my room on the fourth floor. Unfortunately it looks better in person...such a shame.
EDIT: I've decided to move my blog to http://inthelifeofkathy.blogspot.com
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| Yup, I'm almost half way done with my freshman year at MIT. Time just flew by so quickly, feels like I just got here yesterday. Though, looking back, a lot of things have happened for the worse and for the better. I've gone through a rough spot and struggled to get back on my feet again. I've learned to become my own person, I've struggled through tests and problemsets, cooked my own meal, did my own laundry, made new friends and memories, and had my share of stress. It's mind boggling how much has changed since I got here. Only 3 more weeks and I'm officially done with half of my freshman year.
This is both exciting and scary at the same time. It's amazing to think that by this time next year, I'll be taking my first major steps towards creating a career for myself, I'll be declaring my major and taking classes to fulfill my degree requirement. This is something that I will be stuck with for the rest of my life, and as I take those steps and making those choices, I'm getting closer and closer to the real world.
Ok, so enough of all that mumbo jumbo about the future and whatnot. The immediate situation is I'm going to get my ass kicked the next 2 weeks because finals are coming. I'm excited as I do these problemsets because I know that they will be the last few problemsets of term, but it's also stressful and scary to think that I'll have to start studying for finals next week. Though, my immediate motivation is that I get to go home after finals and see my parents again. I'll get to sleep in my own bed, eat my mom's cooking, see my friends, and have a car again. Oh, and I can't forget that I'll get to see the sunshine again. It's funny to think that I'll be wearing shorts and a t-shirt in 60 degree weather in California when everyone else will be wearing jackets and scarves. Yay for Massachusetts!!
So in the last blog I promised that I'll write something more than just what happened during my day and so I will. I've changed quite a bit as a person since I arrived here on June 20th. My transformation was a slow and painful one. For a while, I struggled to define myself and I struggled with the relationship that I cherished so much. As that relationship started to fall apart, I started to fall apart also. In the process of dealing with the pain, stress, and depression, as well as finding myself and my self-motivation once again, I did some things that I was not proud of. I also lost the respect of many people because I handled the situation poorly. However, I do not regret the way I handled things because I learned many important lessons in the process. I am now a much happier person and I'm much more content with what I have. I've also discovered that self-confidence is the key to happiness. I learned to indulge myself and I also learned the art of self-appreciation instead of always putting myself down.
As the last few weeks of the term approaches, I start to set new goals for myself. I took the time to map out my classes for the next few years. I also found a new motivation to work harder and more efficiently. I don't want to waste my chance at such a great education. I finally snapped out of my haze of stupidity and realized that a free education at MIT is something I should take full advantage of because I am very lucky to be offered such an opportunity. For a while I was stupid and took the education for granted, always worrying about my relationship troubles and other things. Now my education is my priority. My parents are happy back home, so all I have to worry about now is my academic success.
Anyway, I've written quite a bit, so I think it's time I stop and work on my physics homework. =]
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| So like the title says, today has been a very weird day. My day started at midnight, literally. I was talking to Linda until 3:00 AM and then I made myself a snack before I tried to study for chem. I read the chemistry book for a little bit, like and hour or so, then I took a chocolate and tea break, watched some family guy, and then I realized that i was tired, so I got in bed. It was already 5:30, so I just lied there with my eyes wide open even though I was tired. I tried to pray and then count sheep in order to help me sleep, but it didn't work. Right around 6:00ish, I realized that it wasn't working, so I got up, took a shower, and got dressed. I grabbed my camera, layered up, then I took a walk along the Charles, listening to my iPod and snapping pictures at the sunrise. I captured some pretty amazing pictures of the foliage at sunrise. At about 8:00, I had a sudden craving for Starbucks, so I started heading down Ames Street, and I stopped right underneath Nathan's window when I saw that his lights were still on. I gave him a call to see if he wanted to grab some coffee with me, but it turned out that he was sleeping. So I ended up getting Starbucks all by myself. After my Starbucks adventure, I took the shuttle to the Galleria to get my iPod looked at since it had frozen on me while I was walking along the Charles. I got to the mall at about 9:30, and none of the stores were open yet so I sat there for half an hour just waiting for the Apple store to open. When it finally opened, I had to get an appoint at 11:30 to get my iPod checked out. So during the time that i was waiting, I wandered through the stores and did some christmas shopping. I bought some stuff for myself and some stuff for other people. I finally headed back at around noon, then I headed over to the quiet reading room in the student center to study for an upcoming chem test. that's actually where I am at the moment as I write this entry. It's about 2:40 PM right now. I'm thinking of grabbing some food after this and then heading over to Senior Haus to give Fred some Tylenol because he's sick, plus I need him to show me some stuff from chemistry that I couldn't understand from reading the book alone (since I missed lectures a few times). So I guess off I go now.
I've noticed that lately I've only been blogging about what goes on during my day but no thoughts or emotions are involved. Maybe I'll change that in the next blog. I just don't like the idea of xanga being a place where I bitch about stuff. Though, I'll try to include something deeper next time I write. A lot of things have changed so maybe I won't bitch about stuff but actually write about things that make me feel good.
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| So my biological clock is way off. My sleeping schedule during the past few days was crazy. On Tuesday night, David and Fred wanted to go hacking before David had to leave for Alabama. So we went and afterwards, they stayed in my room until 7 in the morning (Wednesday morning). I was so tired I couldn't get up at noon to go to classes so I slept from 7:00 AM until 11:00 PM on Wednesday. I woke up, had a meal, and then went back to sleep at 2:00 AM. I didn't wake up until noonish on Thursday. Fred and I wanted to go get lunch but to our dismay, the student center and everything else was close because it was Thanksgiving day. I then stole from eggs from Emilio's fridge and made myself some fried eggs and rice, and then went back to sleep at 2:00ish in the afternoon. I didn't wake up until later that day when Fred called at 7:00 PM to tell me that there was thanksgiving dinner at Senior Haus. I then got dressed quickly (for who can afford to miss a free thanksgiving dinner?) and rushed over to Senior Haus. It was nice having thanksgiving dinner with Don, Milena, Fred, and Emilio. It was sorta empty because David wasn't there, but other than that, the dinner was pretty good and we had a good time catching up and reminiscing about how we all met. After dinner, I went up to Don's room with Fred and Milena to hang out. We gossiped and laughed at Don for being weird. Then we left Don alone so he could finish his paper that was due the next day.
That night, I stayed at Senior Haus with Fred, Emilio, and Milena. Oh, and Phyo came to visit too. He stayed for a while and then had to go to back to Burton Conner. Fred and I pulled an all nighter because Milena wanted to go shopping early in the morning on Friday. She insisted that we get to the mall at 5 AM to get the door buster deals. So Fred and I just watched some stupid specials on National Geographic channel until 4:30. We woke Milena and Emilio up then we all took a cab (which cost us $5) to the piece of shit which we call mall. Before we could shop, Milena and Emilio had to get their coffee at Starbucks. We ended up shopping from 5 to about 8. Then we took the free shuttle back to Kendall Square. Fred, Emilio, and I were hungry so we ate at Au Bon Pain while Milena went back to Senior Haus because she had bought a ton of stuff and she wanted to sleep. I then remembered that there was another shopping center near Target at Andrew Station, so Emilio and I went on another shopping trip (Fred didn't want to go because he was tired). After wandering around the shopping center at Andrew Station, Emilio and I bought some stuff and left. I got back to my room for the first time since Thursday night at about 11:30 this morning. I changed, took a shower, and then got in bed. I slept until 9 PM, woke up, ate some left overs from who knows when, and then called my mom. I've lost all sense of time, day, night, and so on. When I was at Andrew Station with Emilio, I thought to myself the whole time that it was really late at night because I had not slept the whole night. When I woke up earlier, I thought that it was 9 in the morning. My brain is playing tricks on me because I haven't been doing what it's telling me to do. Hopefully I'll be able to get back on a normal sleeping schedule sometime soon. This will not work for next term when I will have a lot more work than I do now. No more slacking off and no more free time to sleep for 36 hours straight.
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| So, another thanksgiving away from home. I spent last thanksgiving at a water park in Hawai'i and this year I'm spending thanksgiving in Massachusetts, 3000 miles from home. At least last year I had someone I love close to me and the trip to Hawai'i was fun, this year, I'm just in college and the person that I love is not by my side. I miss my family and I miss him. I guess I shouldn't be pessimistic. It's thanksgiving so I should be thankful for what I have.
I'm truly thankful for having such loving parents. I'm also thankful for my free education and I'm certainly thankful for my health and of course my friends.
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